Andrew, October 14, Port-au-Prince

"Over and over I replay in my head the implications of what we've just done. We told the Haitians that we couldn't physically stop their government from torturing and killing, but that if they told us in detail who was doing it and how, we'd bear witness and seek justice. Eventually the world would be outraged enough to send soldiers and reinstall democracy. We took notes, wrote reports, created summaries and a database of victims. I treated their wounds to give them comfort, an inducement to come forward.

They believed us, risked their lives to turn up at our offices all over the country, in full view of their attackers, to tell their stories. They exposed themselves, crawled in and spilled their guts, sometimes literally. They took off all their clothes, told me exactly who stabbed them and how, and trusted me to treat them. I handed out asprin and band-aids while the killers watched and waited. Now that they're at their most vulnerable, we're abandoning them, frozen in the headlights, roadkill for the macoutes' machine. And we're flying out, clutching our precious blue UN passports and bags full of Haitian art.

We just showed Haitians that our lives are more valuable than theirs. The logic of the mission was ours, not theirs, and so is the logic of our retreat. 'Tell us the truth and we will seek justice' was our idea. 'It's too dangerous and we must evacuate' was our privilege. Neither applies to Haitians. A ship with soldiers arrives at the dock and exits the dock. Haitians have no exit.

The most basic principle they teach you at meidcal school, years before you even get to touch your first patient, is 'First do no harm.' But harm is exactly what we've done, identifying the next victims for the assassins running Haiti. It was a vicious setup from the beginning."

- Andrew, October 14, Port-au-Prince
Extract from 'Emergency Sex (and other desperate measures)

Fresh Start

So it's been about a year and a half since I've written a post, and being the lazy ass that I am, I never got around to writing about the end of my trip. Suffice to say, too much time has passed for me to clearly remember details and write anything of real substance (which will please some people who claim I babble anyway). In a nutshell, the rest of the trip continued to be incredible, the Masai Mara was fantastic, better than I ever expected, and on leaving Kenya I pledged to return... One day soon it'll happen.

So now I am no longer a 'mere mortal medical student', but have been graced the title of doctor, which initially was exciting, but now embarrasses me to mention socially to the non-medical. Well, perhaps not embarrasses, but rather, it creates awkwardness and assumptions, and before you know it you're giving advice about a rash, or an old broken bone. It doesn't help with the men either. You can be having a pleasant enough conversation with a man, unfortunately drop the d-word, hear the obligatory response "Oh wow, you must be really smart", and before you know it the drinks stop flowing, and he goes to the 'toilet' never to return.

Anyway, I'll save the whinging about the difficulties of finding an appropriate man for another day...

I've decided to start this blog afresh. I'm no longer travelling, well not for the moment. I'm based in Brisbane, working as a resident, surrounded by lots of incredible, intelligent people with different views, that continue to challenge and inspire me. I'm consuming more books than food - not text books, I've had enough of those for the moment - and learning something new nearly everyday. So this will be a place for interesting quotes I come across, thoughts, links to articles, books etc. A mish-mash of everything which I'm hoping will help me compartmentalize and express my ideas in a more acceptable way - so I don't find myself stopping people on the street and saying something controversial just to get another perspective.


"Dream to love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try to understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget."
- Arundhati Roy

That's what I'm hoping to do.